I crave soy milk. I enjoy making lists. I love orange juice.

Every day I become a little more dyslexic and much more confused about life.
I can be very materialistic - I really want a bike right now.
I meet people I want to be, people who do things I want to do, like things I wish I liked. Everything seems so easy for them - yet then the grass is so much greener and thicker on the other side of this fence. But I still like them better, better than myself. I see myself as a much crueler person than people take me for. Shy, yes but cruel, ignorant, and certainly clueless of the world about. Sad thing is, I am ok with being mean, ok with not knowing what goes on around me, I enjoy being selfish and secluded. I don't want to though. I want to be different. I want my secluded self to be the inspiration for my art and be the intelligent, thoughtful person my dad always thought I could be. I don't want to sit in the gutter of my life anymore. I was comfortable there; I could be compliant and easily live there. Yet that is not like those people I want so badly to be - the gutter has no grass, only weeds. I want to be the studious kid and graduate knowing I tried my damndest to do well. Not the C student I have settled for. I am tired of settling with what is safe. Yet I still yearn for that comfort. The comfort of knowing I am loved. The security that being wanted brings. But when feeling loved is settling – how do you not settle? I want my own life. I want to be me. But I am scared. Who am I? How will I ever move on?

It is really hard for me to put these up. Nudity is still a subject I am not entirely comfortable with. But the human figure holds such potential for dynamic line and shape. Therefore, I am going to hazard putting up a few pictures. Not my favorite, my favorite are more controversial.

I went walking..


I found some things that were interesting..


Enjoy.

I have been thinking for a while now - trying to decide what I want. I need some kind of outlet. So I am opening this back up, restarting my journal, as it were. My first idea was to make a photoblog. (Then I looked at how far those have come.) My journal therefor will be slightly more random and have varying subject matter. Most probably will be my own photography (newbie that I am to that field) some may be drawings that I have done, art that I have made, but all involved will have either come directly from me or it will be something interesting or inspirational that I'd like to share.

Right now I am trying to prepare an artist's statement for a class. I guess it would be fair to share, for my first "new" entry, what I have so far.
I try to put myself into my work. I try to show my handwriting - making whatever I am working on a small piece of myself, incorporating bits and pieces of myself in all that I do. I use gesture. I hope for quality of line and a vision of the soul that put it there. My work is a series of happy mistakes that flow together when the work is going well. It takes a life of its own and becomes a ghost image of its concept.

As for the actual site, (background etc), I originally planed it to be something that represented me, birds flying or such. But, I decided simplicity was best for the purpose I was to use the site for. It is my canvas for what I enjoy. I want nothing to take away from that.. I am what I love.

Velle est posse. where there is a will, there is a way.

"And remember with what judgment ye judge ye shall be judged”

Size, shape, color, race, should have no affect on who you are or what you want to become. If someone believes that surface is everything, then they are narrow-minded and probably have self-esteem issues. . Our motivations, ideas, values are what we should be judged by; if so desired. Culture, history, and traditions shape who we are not what we appear on the outside. Only if we allow ourselves to dwell on such subjects are we controlled by them.

Life is interesting... we fall, sweat, and toil... wishing for that chance ... whenever it may come.. for things to go right.. to be able to know what we were meant to do.

I hope it is as beautiful as a summer morning, dew on the grass glistening in the early rays.. I hope it is not a lie.. that one day everyone will be at peace.

People in general say that time flashes before your eyes; that you change as it goes by. I feel myself changing.. emotions, ideals, intuitions... each insisting that I am not the same person, as who I might have been, the day before.

Does this mean I am growing-up? I still feel as if I am a little kid. I loved being able to depend on my parents for everything... and now I am at a distance from everyone I love. It is an amazing change.. and I am scared.


I was the ringleader of the John McCain blogring (you joined on my birthday!) and I wanted to let you know I've moved it to 2008. It would be great if you'd come along for the ride!
Posted 6/12/2004 at 2:17 PM by danpalmer424 - delete - block user

Maybe you should try listening to some happier music!Posted 7/4/2005 at 1:51 PM by danpalmer424

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.
William James (1842-1910)

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Success is just a matter of attitude.
Darcy E. Gibbons

An interesting fact.. (for anyone who cares or who do not know already)..
The smallest and brightest stars, this is very depressing, are dying. The biggest and brightest stars turn into black holes.. I love stars

Somewhere along the line of development we discover who we really are, and then we make our real decision for which we are responsible. Make that decision primarily for yourself because you can never really live anyone else's life not even your child's. The influence you exert is through your own life and what you become yourself.

--Eleanor Roosevelt (1884–1962); In a June 1941 letter to her friend

"Prends la vie comme il vient."
French proverb... "Go with life as it rolls."

The most difficult thing – but an essential one – is to Love life, to love it even while one suffers, because Life is all. Life is God, and to love life means to love God.
Tolstoy “War and Peace”

This is a quote that I do not know yet whether I believe in, but I do know that it was said by a very wise and knowledgeable person.

When we are alive our conscious thought is contained within our bodies. We attempt to express this thought through word, gesture, work and art. We strive to influence the immediate part of the universe that surrounds us.

When we die our conscious stream has been released into the entire universe. We are part of it all. It is as though our few grains of salt are added to the ocean. The soup of that ocean is an ever-growing consciousness in that entity we call God.

One thing we know is that God is smarter than Einstein. However we also know that Einstein knew who God is and wrote to him in his own language mathematics.

That pains me because I much prefer Cormac McCarthy description of God’s language as “the trees, the stones and the bones of things.

Also I know that this person is dead, and being so, has probably found out if their thoughts on this matter, instead of Einstein’s, are true.